After a month or more of too many feelings and not enough words, I felt the Spirit’s excavating presence. We survived. We made it through the month of Alan’s birthday and home going. It was 2 years ago that we walked away from the cemetery and retreated to the beach, to walk the shores and remember. To allow the waves crashing on the shore to remind us of God’s everlasting love that would continue to follow us as faithfully as the tide.
Yesterday as I worshipped I felt Christ brushing past the rubble of my broken heart.
In some ways the pain of Alan’s absence is fresher than its ever been. Some of the shock has gone. The relief that his suffering is over, and the flashbacks of the agony of his last days are fewer and farther between. Yet, I am left kneeling in a graveyard of broken dreams. My heart is littered with all the things that we had planned to do. When I walk about seeing life move on for others, I remember all the dreams of growing old together and what that would have looked like.
The new dreams that I have formed seem too big and far away to strengthen my steps for the journey to get there.
I felt the Spirit whisper to my heart today. “The graveyard is the perfect place beloved. I am not daunted by death. No I conquered it. In fact, you must know something…I Still Move Stones.”
Cue the tears dear ones! He still move stones!! Have you ever heard any more beautiful words? Today, I cannot think of any!
Mark 16:4 says, “ But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away.”
That great big stone that covered the tomb where our Lord’s body lay was rolled away. He came to conquer death.
Then he tells us in Romans 8:11, “The same power that raised Jesus from the dead is at work in you.”
At work in us? How is that possible?
He is in the business of moving stones. The resurrected one wants to resurrect our hearts. He wants to conquer death on our behalf. Not just once when our earthly flesh fades so that we might live eternally, but every day! He longs to take the stones of brokenness and death and sin and heartache from our hearts. He wants to move the rubble out of our path so that we can walk resurrected lives.
When we surrender our lives to Him we can walk in the same power that raised Jesus from the dead. When heartaches and disappointments and griefs come our way we can give these stones, even the large ones to Jesus. They are not ours to bear the rest of our days. They are His. We were not fashioned to bear the weight of them. But He was.
This requires a bit of inventory sometimes. A “state of the heart,” if you will. When you are feeling pulled under, like the waves are just too high or maybe your heart is restless and just a little off, it’s time to see what stones you might be trying to lug around with you.
His invitation still stands to come to Him.
“Jesus said, Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matt. 11:28
First we come to Him and then we lay them down. We have a Savior who still moves stones,” beloved and He wants to move yours.