I’m a little uncomfortable writing this. You see fear is something I have always struggled with. It loves to raise it’s ugly head at me again and again. So, I am no expert on overcoming this rather I am one who gets to exercise this faith muscle often. I know I am not alone in this struggle.
This morning I took my typical morning walk with the Lord. I was soaking up the birds morning song and feeling the gentle early breeze upon my face and loving it! As I usually do I was presenting my requests to the Lord interwoven with thanks for what He has already done. As I prayed for specific, really hard things, I felt fear occasionally try to take hold of my mind. It started with a finger hold and in a matter of seconds my heart would turn from trusting God to full out fear of what might happen if God did not act the way I hoped he would.
“Father, it feels so irresponsible not to try, with everything in my being, to figure this situation out,” I told him. Yet, when I try, I am led back to myself and the fact that I cannot control this thing. I cannot. When I realize that, fear is yelling in my face and faith is nowhere to be found, no matter how hard I look. Then I take my eyes back to you sweet Jesus. I remember all the ways you have held me in hopeless situations. I remember all the times you have rescued me before. I remember how you have answered prayers to questions deep in my heart that I had dared not voice and faith sweeps gently back into my heart bringing with it a measure of peace. A peace that grows the longer I look upon you and less on my situation.
I realize the more I rehearse in my mind the ultimate worse case scenarios the more I am driven to desperation in my soul and the joy and the peace leak straight out of me. But this I know, the more I lift up my eyes from whence cometh my help.. My help comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and Earth” the more I rest and lean into you!
We have an enemy beloved. He is the enemy of our souls. His purpose is to steal, kill and destroy. But Jesus came that we might have life, and have it Abundantly. HE CAME! Into this broken, fallen world, full of heartaches and troubles we didn’t imagine we would have to face. But He knew and He came anyway that we might not walk alone, but that we might come to a point where we would realize to walk alone would be disastrous. That we would rather die, die to ourselves that He might live in us and then we would have LIFE and have it abundantly. When we are in the midst of hard the enemy comes to try to steal the ultimate thing,our faith. If he can rob us of our peace, our joy, our hope then eventually we begin to believe that we are alone, that God has left us and we are not worthy of His great love. But just like in the garden we have a choice. We can choose to say “No!” to the enemies deceptions and “Yes!” to trusting Jesus. We can say ,” Enough! I will not let you steal one more thing. My road may be hard right now, way beyond my control, but I know my God is faithful. I am not alone and He has good plans for me.”
Just like those fears creep in and rehearse themselves again and again dancing across our mind. We must choose to rehearse God’s faithfulness. Replaying the ways He has proven Himself faithful in the past over and over– until the lies of the enemy are uprooted and the truths of God are planted deep in the soil of our hearts.
“God is in the midst of her. She will not be shaken.” Psalm 46:5 God is in the midst of you, beloved! You will not be shaken!